The Path to Vulnerability

What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability? Do you embrace it or do you feel uncomfortable at just the thought of it?  

According to Brene Brown, vulnerability is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Don’t you feel exposed just reading that? “Emotional exposure” are two words that scream rawness.

But being vulnerable is where growth happens. If we go through our lives always requiring certainty, avoiding risk, and not allowing our emotions to be expressed, we are missing out on the richness of life.  

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What Are You Willing To Do?

Recently, I came across a book that grabbed my attention. The book is Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life by Gary John Bishop. The subtitle really intrigued me.

I’m not sure about you, but I find myself living in my head waaaay too much. Do you find your mind running the show? Do you over-think things or over-analyze too much? How can we “get out of our heads”?

Among the many great concepts in this book, one jumped off the page for me...the concept of taking responsibility for our own lives. Okay, I get this isn’t a new concept, but the way he goes about it is (at least for me).

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You’re Stronger Than You Think

What do you see when you look at your life? Do you find yourself observing your life and seeing in yourself all the ways you don’t measure up?

Have you created an impossible standard for yourself? Sometimes, we create an insurmountable metric that we will always fail to meet.

You may feel that you’re not enough in some area of your life, and when you’re in this mindset your life can feel less than desirable.

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Go Have FUN

While the hubby was away on a golf trip, and my youngest visited a friend in Cali, I decided to do an experiment. I could have easily thought “how much can I get done while they’re gone?” but not this time.

Getting very intentional about what I wanted my “free time” to look like set the direction for the weekend. I didn’t want to be feeling any resentment that they’re away having fun while I’m stuck at home with the mundaneness of life. I could have so easily have gone this route.

I wanted to get through the weekend without thinking about everything that I SHOULD be doing. Oh, how those “shoulds” get in the way of us fully living our lives. Ugh…

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Just “DON’T” Do It

How many times do you wake up in the morning feeling overwhelmed by your “to-do” list before your feet even hit the floor? Your mind is already racing through your day when all you want to do is dive back under the covers and let the world know that you’re not “adulting” today.  

It just feels like way too much!

As much as Nike reminds us to “Just Do It,” I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest the exact opposite.  

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Early Lessons From A Garden

Have you been wanting to try something new? Possibly learn to cook a new type of food, how to play an instrument, or what about taking a belly dancing lesson? I hear it’s a great core workout.  

Well, this year the hubby and I decided to venture into the world of gardening - the veggie kind. We really have no idea what we’re getting into, but know we want the outcome to be lots of delicious hand picked veggies.  

It can’t be too hard, right (insert winking face)?

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Living More With Less

There’s an obsession in our country that goes way beyond the time we spend on Facebook and Instagram.  

More than likely it’s happening in your house too.

What I’m talking about is our endless accumulation of “stuff” - the stuff that can own us more than we own it.  

This past weekend, our family took part in the annual neighborhood garage sale. I was feeling the weight of having too much stuff in our lives.This year was going to be the year of letting it all go. That’s what we wanted, but it was challenging to let go of things even though they were only taking up space. I would start thinking “What if I need…?”, “What if the kids can use this?”, etc.   

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What Zone Are You In?

Did you have a chance to check out last week’s blog?

In that blog, I shared how your self-worth is so much more than what gets done. With the “to-do” list always growing like grass on a summer day, there’s a non-stop onslaught of things to do.

We may not get it all done (and that’s okay), but what about getting your things done in a different way?

My mentor George Kao says “Your state of being is the most important thing.” This realization can become a game changer when you are “believing” that getting things done is the most important thing (like most people do).

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You Are More Than What Gets Done

Did you get your “to do” list done today? How do you feel? Who are we without productivity being the metric of our self-worth?

I’ve had many conversations with people who want their self-worth be defined by more than what gets done. But when we live in the world of “crazy busy,” it’s hard to find the space for that to happen.

The truth is that the “to-do” list is never ending.  

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Just. Be. You.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know I’m all about supporting you to create a better life for yourself. One of the ways I hope to support you is through sharing “my story” so you can see you’re not alone.  

I have no doubt you’ve gone through the ups and downs of life feeling like you’re the “only one” going through that particular experience. We all have, and it can be a lonely place. You may be wishing for someone who would “get you” and what you’re going through.  

I’ve been there - deep in the trenches of whatever was coming up for me at the time. That lonely place is amplified if we are hiding it from others.

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Things Are Not Always As They Appear

Over the weekend the hubby and I had a chance to visit our youngest who is away at his first year of college. With wanting to have a better look into his world, he asked a friend to join us.

The conversation was good, the food not so much, but I was just happy to be in his presence. When I asked about how they met, the friend told us it was a rough start to their friendship, but after a long night of conversation between the two of them and a few other friends, he began to see my son for who he is (the person I know).  

This conversation had me thinking how easily we judge another person before giving them a chance to show us who they really are. We may have been taught to not to judge a book by it’s cover, but how often do we actually do that? We are probably all guilty of a few snap judgments the first time we meet someone.

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You Are More Than Your Highlight Reel

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about how hard it can be to be ourselves. I knew I had my latest blog topic.  

She’s the kind of friend who listens deeply and can point out so many parts of our conversation that would be “blog worthy.” I know who to call the next time I’ve been staring at a blank page for way to long!  

The gist of our conversation was about how challenging it can be to be ourselves when we live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by social media where everything is perfect and everyone has  perfect (or almost perfect) lives.  

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Are You Practicing Self-Judgment or Self-Compassion?

Just when it seems like I’m getting a handle on all of this “personal development,” something else shows up for me.

Through the work I’m doing in therapy, I’ve discovered that I have lots (and lots!) of self-judgment.  I don’t know a single person who is free of self-judgment, but that knowing doesn’t make it any easier for me.  

Don’t you find those negative self-judgments to be very sneaky at times?

Before you know it, we’re in a downward spiral.  It’s almost as if our minds have been hijacked by someone else.  

 

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Ready To Dig Deep?

As the days are getting longer, and the birds are getting louder, I’m excited for what’s ahead. Even though there may still be a snowfall or two ahead of us, this time of year has me ready to let go of the old and bring in the new. 

Although I am ready to organize (I love organizing!) and let go of things that no longer add to my life, I can feel that it’s so much more than that. 

Sure, I want to create more “physical space” in my life, but when I think more about it, what I’m really desiring is open space in all areas of my life to get to know myself better.

Maybe you feel the same way too!

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You. Are. Enough. Part 2.

Recently, I connected with my long distance bestie, and part of our conversation revolved around how easy it is to lose a part of yourself to other people. While our lives are different in many ways, I see a common theme between us.

Since we hadn’t connected for awhile, I wanted to hear the juicy details of her life. I’ve been married for 28 years, so it’s always fun to hear about her dating world (not that I want to go back).

While she sees how she could easily lose herself to a guy, I can see how I lost myself in my role of being a mom. (Being honest, I really had no idea who I was before heading into the world of parenting, so maybe I didn’t “lose” anything.) Instead of letting motherhood be a PART of who I was, it became ALL that I was.

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Happy New Year - New Year, New Instagram

I wanted to thank each of you for taking the time over the past year to read my latest blogs. With so much noise competing for your attention, I want you to know how much I appreciate you being in this space!

While I have enjoyed writing my blogs (and hope you have enjoyed reading them), I’ve recently discovered something that has really peaked my interest, micro-blogging on Instagram.

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Human Being or Human Doing?

It’s here…

The holiday season has quickly come around. It’s the season of way too much stress, spending that can easily get out of control, and maybe a few too many holiday cocktails.  :)

But it’s also filled with lots of delicious food, beautiful decorations, and reconnecting and making memories with family and friends.    

Going into the holidays, I always have this grand plan to finish all my shopping by Thanksgiving. I’ve yet to see that happen. It’s easy to get derailed by life swirling all around me.

I may not be able to slow down time, but I can choose how I relate to it.

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You. Are. Enough.

Recently something happened that challenged me to question if I’m as accepting as I believe I am.

With my new empty nest, I joined my husband on a business trip to Florida. While there, we took the time to head to the beach while visiting family on the Gulf Coast.

After taking a stroll on the beach, we plopped ourselves on the sand to do one our favorite activities…people watching. I don’t know about you, but I could spend hours watching people.

As we’re sitting there watching people of all shapes and sizes walk by, I casually said “I’m surprised that some people wear what they do.”

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It's Finally Here!

It’s been a long time in the making, but I’m excited to share with you that my website has been updated. Not a major rewrite, just some needed enhancements.

Updating the website was not an easy process for me.  How did I want it to look?  What was I going to say?  What’s the best way to show up as myself?  How can I show my playful side?

So many things to think about and that doesn’t even include the ever important…what to wear!  :)

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